Postpartum Depression and Colic – Recovery Tips and Prevention Plan

It’s not always easy to identify what caused what – did the maternal illness cause the colic or did the colic cause Mom to become depressed and anxious? What’s interesting to note is that it seems to go in both directions. In Part 1, the interview with Jenn illustrated how colic in the baby can lead to intense feelings of inadequacy, guilt and desperation, which in turn can easily manifest into clinical depression and anxiety. In her case, as in thousands of others, colic in her baby was at least one major part of why she became ill.

There is research indicating a clear connection between high anxiety in pregnancy and infant colic. Anxiety during pregnancy is linked with a constriction of the placental blood supply, a heightened startle response and high cortisol levels in the newborns. This can explain why these babies are more agitated and harder to soothe than babies born to moms who are not experiencing anxiety. Infants have three times the risk of developing colic when their moms are highly anxious during their pregnancies.

It’s no one’s fault and no blame or guilt should be assigned to maternal illness during pregnancy or postpartum – life experiences simply (or not so simply) unfold and we do the best we can to cope.

When my client Liz was in her third trimester, her father died and her mother “fell apart,” she explained.

Even though I was about to become a mom myself, I felt it was my responsibility as her daughter to take care of her. So, between prenatal visits, regular stress tests due to high blood pressure, some premature labor and partial bed rest prescribed by my OB, twice a week I drove to my mother’s house about two hours away to check on her. I had no time to grieve for the loss of my dad. By the time my baby came, I was a mess."

Liz went directly from an anxiety-ridden pregnancy into an even more anxious postpartum. By the time she contacted me in her seventh week following delivery, she was deeply depressed as well. Part of this was normal grief, but the rest was illness.

Moms with PPD often perceive their babies are high needs even if others do not. This is due to the feeling of overwhelm caused by depression. In Liz’s case, her son had colic, and all the family members agreed with her – Derrick (her son) needed a lot of attention. His extreme discomfort from colic added tremendous tension. The collision of all these factors, including sleep deprivation, made it the perfect storm.

Like Jenn in Part 1, Liz felt helpless and at times hopeless. She didn’t know how to help her baby. She was embarrassed when she couldn’t calm Derrick down during his colicky periods, especially when others were present. Eventually she stopped inviting anyone over and automatically turned down invitations in order to avoid the shame and guilt of being, as she thought, a bad mother.

As our stress increases, our bodies reflect it. Our movements and muscles change with tension – they become jerkier and stiffer — and babies can feel that change. Infants often react to their parents’ stress with more tension themselves, which can exacerbate the colic. That, in turn, increases their parents’ stress, and this becomes a lovely downward spiral. The good news is that either alleviating the mom’s depression and anxiety or her baby’s colic will help not only the one receiving direct treatment, but it will aid the other as well. As the stress is relieved in one, the other will respond in a positive way.

That can begin an upward spiral for the family toward health. Certainly each requires and deserves proper treatment for 100% wellness, but it’s a beginning in the right direction. It is not your fault if your baby has colic. You haven’t done anything wrong, and no blame is appropriate. Even if you’ve had untreated anxiety or depression until now, and even if this has contributed to your baby’s colic, it’s not your fault (and sometimes they’re unrelated anyhow). You’ve been suffering, and no one would choose to have these illnesses. What’s most important is that you get the proper help to recover completely, and your baby receives great help too. And if your baby’s colic has contributed toward causing your depression or anxiety, it’s not the baby’s fault either – she’d love not to be uncomfortable and isn’t trying to ruin your day.

Not always does colic cause PPD and anxiety, but it’s always a major challenge causing tension in the home. Remind yourself:

1. Even wonderful parents have colicky babies. Colic is not my fault. This can happen to the best parents.
2. My baby knows I love him, even though I can’t stop his crying. He doesn’t blame me and he always loves me.
3. Now I know about treatment for colic. I look forward to my baby feeling better, which will help me too.
4. It’s important for my baby that I take care of myself, so I’ll have the energy to care for him.

Whether or not a parent is suffering from depression and anxiety, there are basic components of a wellness plan for all new parents. All parents need support – both physical and emotional – time off from kids and house, and non-judgmental people around them. Parents need regularly scheduled time at least a couple of times each week where they are not on duty with children, house tasks, or other work. This is time to be with friends, take a walk in nature, go out to lunch, get a massage, or any other activity that is pleasurable. Parents need to nurture themselves in order to have what it takes to be great parents.

It’s an important part of your job and responsibility as a parent. After all, consider the consequences of not taking this time – burnout, depression, and resentment. How is this good for your baby and the rest of your family? It’s not, of course. You are taking this time for your baby, so you’ll be replenished and fresh to take on the next chunk of caretaking. Dads in general are better about giving themselves this permission. Moms can learn a lot from the guilt-free manner in which dads can take this time off. The annoyance that moms often feel for the dads taking time off to play is usually jealousy. They want to be able to do what their husbands are doing, but they can’t give themselves permission. After reading this article, I hope this changes.

Often parents with high needs babies especially don’t give themselves permission to relax and have fun. I hear from these moms all the time, things like, “How can I go out with my friends and have a good time if my baby is screaming? I feel too guilty.” And the dads feel responsible to relieve the moms instead of taking a bit of time to spend with their buddies or go to the gym, for instance. Remember that it takes extra energy to care for a baby with high needs, so it’s even more essential that you recharge your own batteries on a regular basis.

Choosing a Therapist

If you’re experiencing PPD or anxiety, make sure you’re working with a therapist who specializes in maternal mental illness. She should have extensive training in this particular field from organizations like Postpartum Support International or Marce Society, have books such as Postpartum Depression for Dummies and Beyond the Blues to recommend, and have lots of clinical expertise under her belt. Choosing a therapist simply because she says she specializes or because she happens to work within your insurance is not good enough. You deserve the right help and your family needs you to be on your feet sooner rather than later. Don’t skimp on your mental health – it’s too important. Remember, if your baby needed a specialist you wouldn’t hesitate to find the right help even if you needed to pay out of pocket. Now your baby’s mommy (or daddy) needs a specialist, so prioritize this medical issue with the same degree of weight and respect. As I do, some of my colleagues work by phone, Skype and other technologies so you can always find great help no matter where you live in the world.

A wellness strategy for all parents, especially those with high needs infants should also include:

• Nutrition which can help boost serotonin levels in the brain, such as lean meat, cold water wild fish, poultry and eggs plus complex carbohydrates like beans, potatoes and whole grains. Nibbling these foods throughout the day can help keep blood sugar even and moods more stable. Staying well hydrated with water is important for both physical and mental health. Enough folic acid is also key, and it’s a good idea to get your Vitamin D level checked. Low levels of either of these makes us more susceptible to depression.
• A few hours of uninterrupted sleep at night (yes, even breast feeding moms can do this with a clever strategy) can protect the brain chemistry from slipping into depression or making it worse.
• Fun exercise – something that lifts the spirits. Hula hooping, walking, jumping on a mini trampoline, playing tag, riding a bike will all oxygenate the body. Pick something(s) that you enjoy, as long as your doctor gives a green light.
  
  If PPD or anxiety is present, along with excellent therapy and the basic wellness strategy, there might be other pieces of the recovery puzzle. There are wonderful alternative treatments with research behind them, and if medication is required, the woman should ideally work with a psychiatrist or other MD who specializes in treating mental illnesses during pregnancy and postpartum. Since each woman’s circumstances and symptoms differ, it is important for each to receive an individual assessment and wellness plan. There should never be a cookie-cutter approach here. What’s right for one mom might not be for the next. For instance, one may need more uninterrupted sleep at night and breaks during the day, and another may require more social support, light therapy or medication. Whatever each mom needs in order to recover, be healthy and start enjoying her life, is good.

One thing is sure – it is possible for each woman to regain her old self (or even a better self) and achieve 100% wellness when provided proper help. The earlier she receives help, the faster she has a chance to recover and the better the prognosis for her whole family. The sooner a new mom starts enjoying her life, everyone she loves will benefit.